


You Remind Me of a Song I Used to Love

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-21
Updated: 2011-03-15
Packaged: 2019-01-19 10:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12408804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Music is only love looking for words.





	1. I'm Through With Love

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

_"For I must have you or no one,_

_and so I'm through with love"_

He stands on the wooded shore of the Black Lake, hands dug deep into his jacket pockets. The rain is falling, just falling. It is neither hard nor light rain, but steady, bringing him the consistancy that he lost with Lily and her love. It's barely noon, but James feels as though the world has turned so dark. 

He can feel every heavy drop break and pound tiny craters into his skin, pounding water, pounding the fact into his soul that maybe he was wrong when he believed that they were meant for each other. Maybe Jameses were allergic to Lilies? Or perhaps the other way around. He doesn't know.

But today, he stops believing in love.

 

**a/n: How sad. I don't know. No more boyfriend for me either. James and I can hook up. Hah. Review?**


	2. We're All in the Dance

_"We all go 'round and 'round_

_Partners of lost and found_

_Looking for one more chance_

_All I know is, we're all in the dance"_

_-Leslie Feist_

The crisp pop of an icy bottle of champagne and two souls smile at each other as they entwine arms and take a long drink to life, health, prosperity and most of all, love. All her bridesmaids look upon her, grinning, longing for the happiness they have yet to find. His best man comes up and gives him a thump on the back. 

He looks at his wife, eyes adoring, full of love. She is lovely, red hair curled over one shoulder, emerald eyes twinkling. She looks back at her husband, feeling so right, so loved, so needed by him. He's wonderful, eternally messy hair and all. 

A song starts playing, it doesn't matter which, but he holds his hand out to her. She takes it and they dance and dance as if they were the only two real people in the world. 

**a/n: This is my favorite song. Ever.**

 


	3. Straight Lines

_"I don’t want to say it’s breaking my heart,_

_And I don’t know where to start._

_Old friends are falling apart,_

_I miss the straight, straight lines."_

  _-Dawn Landes  
_

Lily stands in front of the Three Broomsticks with her friends trying to keep the cold from soaking into their bones. A strand of auburn hair escapes from her ponytail and she sweeps it out of her eyes. Out of the corner in her eye, she sees a dark crowd of people and she turns to look. A jump in her heard and she realizes, _Oh, it's Sev._

But then she sees the people around him. Mulciber and Avery and the rest of their Death Eater friends. And Sev. It slips her mind, the fact that he hung out with those people, and it hurts. It hurts that he would choose them over her. Her heart aches with nostalgia as she remembers how it used to be, before Hogwarts, before sorting hats, before Gryffindor and Slytherin and whatnot. Before James and the Marauders. 

Before they had fallen apart.

**a/n: Nice song. It's pretty.**


	4. Change Your Mind

_"So if the answer is no,_

_Can I change your mind?"_

-The Killers

He remembers the exact moment he saw her, sitting atop the stool, a pointed hat atop her lovely red curls as it shouted "Gryffindor!" He remembers word for word the thought that had stepped into his mind, pulled up a chair and sat. For a long time.

_That's the girl I'm gonna end up with._

He remembers the first time he tried to ask her out, 3rd year. He and Padfoot had pulled another ingenious prank on Snivillus and she had been watching with her friends. Thinking she was impressed with him, he gathered his courage and asked her. 

"Hey Lily. Want to come to Hogsmeade with me Saturday?"

"No, thank you." She had replied, a pitiful look on her face. 

He remembers wondering why she refused. His friends had told him to try again. So he did. Again and again and again. But every time, she had turned him down. They had moved from calling each other Lily and James to surnames. 

_"All right, Evans?"_

_"Go drown yourself, Potter."_

He remembers his friends telling him to move on, to give up, to go pick up a girl from the dozens that chase after him. He remembers not doing that. 

He remembers laughter, a flick of his own wand, and Snivillus upside down in the air, sickly pale legs and all. 

_"But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him_ alone _"_

He remembers finding out why she hated him. Arrogant? Was he really? He remembers trying to fix things, to make them right, to fix himself. 

He remembers changing. All for her.

 

**a/n: REVIEW. And feel free to request any songs. That'd be really nice.**


	5. Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop

_No one understands me quite like you do,  
_

_Through all of the shadowy corners of me._

          -Landon Pigg

A mellow song is playing in the background. Lily sits at a table by herself at Madam Puddifoot's, lazily stirring a cup of hot cocoa, lifting her spoon up occasionally to let a drop fall so she could see it ripple across the liquid. She rests her chin in her hand and looks up occasionally to see out the frosted window of the café, almost as if she were waiting for someone. 

When he comes, he's late, he's panting, trying to find his breath. His hair is even more mussed up than it usually is, but she finds that she likes it and wouldn't want it any other way. Lily smiles gently at him and sweeps a copper colored curl behind her ear. 

"I'm sorry for being late. I couldn't--" 

"Find any clean clothes to wear?" 

"...Yeah, actually." 

"I thought so." 

   
He smiles at her. Her emerald eyes twinkle. 

 

**a/n: I don't know if I like this. =/ Song requests? Reviews? YES.**  
  


	6. The Reason

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_And the reason is you_

_-_ Hoobastank

He would never again see those dark, forest, green eyes of hers again. Alive, at least. And the more he thinks about it, the more his heart aches, to the point where all he can do is sit around and wallow in grief, the point where he doesn't even have the will to live anymore, much less do anything. 

He sits in his lonely house at Spinner's End. As he's sitting there, memory echoes in his head. Echoes of his shouting parents, echoes of smashing glass when his father had gotten angry, and echoes of her ringing laughter, of her beautiful voice. Memory flashes in his head now. Memories of her ruby red hair and of how he always used to sneak to their secret place by the creek, just to talk. How he misses his childhood now. Tears carve a path down his cheek.

_"If you truly loved Lily Evans, then your way forward is clear... "_


	7. Middle of Nowhere

_Well maybe I'm a little bit slow, or just consistently inconsistent_

_She said, "Unpredictability's my responsibility, baby."_

_-_ Hot Hot Heat

She had always been different, with her deep purple hair and the way she "fixed" her Hogwarts uniform, and of course, with her ability to change her appearance. And while every girl had their eyes on Sirius Black or James Potter, the rebels, the bad boys, she had hers on Remus Lupin, the prefect, the goody goody. 

Her friends couldn't figure out why she liked him, told her they would never go out. He was, after all, a 7th year, and they were just lowly 2nd years. And they were just _too_ different. She just shook her head, told them he wouldn't be friends with Sirius and James if he was the way he was on the outside _._ She said there was something about him, something _wild._ And she loved it.

**a/n: Review! 12.27.07: This doesn't follow canon. D: But read it anyway!**


	8. Pillows & Records

_"This house still smells and sounds like you,_

_All your pillows and records."_

         -Aidan Hawken

There was something about the house that still made it theirs, made it James and Lily Potter's, even after they were gone, Harry thinks as he stands before the fence and observes nature love the house, as James and Lily once had.

_She giggles and picks up a record from the box she was unpacking. Turning to her husband, she says, "You have a Celestina Warbeck record?"_

_He blushes and playfully throws a pillow from the "bed stuff" box he was unpacking at her head. She laughs and goes back to sorting out records from the box in front of her. James stands and walks out to the foyer._

_"Locomotor Mattress!" Lily hears him cast. Then a king sized mattress hovers slowly past her along with James, slowly coaxing toward the stairs. She throws the pillow back at him and it hits him in his head, causing him to lose focus of his spell. The mattress drops to the floor with a soft flump. Lily stands and grins at him mischieviously, wrapping her arms around his neck. He smiles back at her and pulls her waist toward him, nuzzles into the crook of her neck, tickling her. They fall onto the mattress and she lets out a ringing laugh, echos througout the house._


	9. Memory

_"My heart's beating faster,_

_Holding on to feel the same."_

-Sugarcult

It fills her to the brim with a warm happiness, like drinking hot butterbeer on a cold winter day, like wrapping yourself in a right-out-of-the-muggle-dryer blanket. Just the memory of him, looking into her eyes, hazel on green, and then his warm lips grazing hers, warm tongues colliding with passion, fills her with pure bliss and puts an indelible smile on her face.

She's sitting in her bed now, journal on her lap, quill in her hand, ready to write down what just happened. But then maybe the best things in life are the ones that arn't recorded, not written down with words, not photographed, not shared. It's all in the moment somehow, and if it's amazing enough, just the memory will be enough.

Just this once, Lily Evans will be a little selfish, and keep it to herself.

  **A/N: Cheers, Emma.**

**2.18.08: I'm transferring all my better drabbles from moments to yrmoasiutl. Wow, that's a long acronym. Hah.**


	10. You Found Me

_"And you still didn't leave._

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see."_

-Kelly Clarkson

"2 years is a long time, wouldn't you say?" She asks, but it's more of a statement.

"Yeah. It is." He replies.

"Haven't you gotten sick of me yet?" She says.

He laughs.

"Seriously, James."

"Lily. I love you."

"I love you too." She whispers back. "But nothing lasts forever, right?"

And Lily sees a mahogany wand tip twitch behind his back and the sparkle of a diamond on her left hand.

"Some things can try."


	11. Silly Eye Color Generalizations

_"There are those boys with golden hazel eyes."_

-Regina Spektor

But his eyes, god, his eyes. They looked at her just like they used to. They were warm, friendly. Just like they used to look. She finds it odd that she never looks at his face in its entirety. He isn't bad looking. Actually, he's quite handsome. But it's those hazel eyes of his that look at her so lovingly. It's always his eyes.

Just his eyes.


	12. Breakable

_"Have you ever thought about_

_What protects our hearts?_

_Just a cage of rib bones_

_And other various parts."_

-Ingrid Michaelson  
 

"A little harsh, Evans, don't you think?" He asks with half a smile on his face.

"Why, what's that one say?"

" _Roses are red, violets are blue. If I were you, I'd kill Potter too."_

She laughs. "Oh sorry. That was Alice's to me. This one's yours."

" _Roses are red, violets are blue. It's kind of hard to say this, but no one loves you."_ He reads aloud and then looks up at her laughing. She trails off into a smile and looks at him a little longer than she should have. He's smirking, as if he's figured her out. As if. And even if he has, she knows what he's thinking.

He's probably thinking she only gave him a valentine because deep down inside, she actually likes him and doesn't want to cease all communication between them because she's afraid that he might forget about her and just move on. Yes, she is the one who has got _him_ figured out.

But what she doesn't know is that he'd never forget her.

**a/n: Better late than never, eh?**


	13. Carefree

_"Forever you and me,_

_Forever me and you"_

-The Perishers

As James unlocks the door to their flat, Sirius looks thoughtfully at Lily, who doesn't notice. They walk in, all carrying bags of groceries.

"Lily?" Sirius follows them into the kitchen to put food away.

"Hmmm?" She says back.

"You are pregnant." He states, as-a-matter-of-factly. James drops a can of chicken noodle.

"Excuse me?" She's surprised and she doesn't quite know whether he's insulting her or whether he's complimenting her indirectly, like, maybe she would be a good mother or something.

"Well, you haven't given me a hard time about following you two home this _whole_ month, and that means you haven't had your, well, you know what." He explains. James is still putting food away in cabinets, but clearly, he's not paying attention to that anymore, seeing as how he's just put ice cream in microwave.

"How do you know about that?" Lily asks him, surprised.

"I may be a guy, but you forget that I understand you women. I understand them verrry well, I'll have you know." He says smoothly. "And you have yet to explain why you haven't been in a bad mood all month."

"I'm a naturally happy person, Sirius."

"Is that because you and James jump each others' bones all the time? Because that would explain all the noises I hear at night next door." He says. James has gone red but is still putting groceries away.

"Honestly? I think it's because you do it so often, I'm kind of used to it." Lily laughs. James opens the oven to put a loaf of bread away, but to his surprise, has already found something in there. Cinnamon buns.

A second passes. Then two. Then five.

"Oh my goodness gracious." James realizes. "Oh my God." He turns around and faces his wife, his smile growing and growing. He's laughing and picks her up.

"Lily! Lily, Lily, Lily! A baby?! A baby, a baby!" He cries out joyously and kisses her stomach over and over. "My Lily has a bun in the oven! I get it!"

**a/n: I don't know if I like this. Review and lemme know what you think?**


	14. A Lack Of Color

_"But I know it's too late,_

_And I should have given you a reason to stay_

_Given you a reason to stay."_

-Death Cab for Cutie

 

It falls, the wind carving its erratic path down to earth. Wild water, rippled and deep blue reflect the gray skies back up into her jade eyes; eyes that would, no couldn't watch him and the other girl.

It's her turn to stand out in the cold rain, hands folded tightly about herself as the drops melt into her skin, her hair, her robes. She's cold and maybe he's moved on to someone that isn't her. And she's never thought that she'd feel this way because he's always been there, even when she didn't want him. It was good. Really good. And now he's gone.

Or rather, she's gone. From his head that is. She's no longer a lasting presence in his mind, no longer in his thoughts, in his dreams. Not forever, she hopes. Not forever.

 

**a/n: Hurrah! I live! For those of you who read Property of Lily Evans, I've have been having a major block for that thing. That, and just so much school work! The final stretch of two months, and I really really need to work at it to get the grades I want. So I am sorrrrrry very sorry for the wait. D: Anyway. Enjoy!**


	15. Best Days

_"'Cause these are the best days_  
There's always something tomorrow.   
So I say let's make the best of tonight,   
Here comes the rest of our lives."

-Graham Colton

 

There comes a time in every young person's life when they realize they're not so young anymore. The future, once a thought that visited occasionally has become an obnoxious neighbor, banging on the door's of their minds, demanding its spell-o-tape back. And the choice then is whether or not you answer the door, or apparate to someplace far, far away.

This time comes for them, at a time where it is least welcomed. They are intertwined, embracing each other and spinning around slowly on a crystal floor. It was winter, nearing Christmas, and a hundred other couples were around them, dancing to the same lovedrunken tune. The final dance that they will ever dance together as kids.

His arms are holding her so warmly and she rests her head against his chest, wanting to fall asleep and stay like that forever. She is like a gem in his arms, a ruby, an emerald. And they are both diamonds in the rough, with the heavy fog of the futures in their mind. She can see herself standing with someone, but is that him? Or someone else? 

He lays a kiss on her cheek as they dance to the lulling tune, and for a moment in her mind's eye, she sees the glint of his circular glasses through the fog.


	16. Xavia

_One heart to break one heart  
One heart to break my heart_

-submarines

 

Christmas Eve, and I am done working. Really, working on Christmas Eve? A day, a night where one stays at home with family and a steaming cup of hot cocoa and I am at work. But luckily, it is 9h30 and time for me to clock out, fully exhausted and fully not looking forward to school resuming, finals, and James, who seems as if all he can see is his future ahead of him. I really should give up on him. As I gather my things from the employee locker rooms, I take into inventory all the months spent hung up on him, the late weekend nights spent talking to him, the morning rides to school and rides home. And after all that, I had to mess it up. I really should get over this and save myself the effort.  I leave my fellow workers and wish them all a merry Christmas before I tiredly push through the doors. The cement sidewalks are covered in yet another layer of snow. Fresh, this time, and I take pleasure in just admiring the even, sparkling layer of the weather, making fresh tracks. It’s cold. 

When I look up from the snow and my thoughts, I stop. There is an old muggle car pulled up on the curb, and the person leaning up against the side freezes my insides, rendering me a shocked statue. It’s James, looking at the same snow, and then at me, standing there. His look is almost penetrating, but I feel invigorated. It’s almost as if I stopped breathing for that minute, and I think I actually did, because the next breath I take fills my lungs with cold air and awakens me from the lull that comes with working for 6 hours. It is still and quiet, except for the steady hum of the engine of his car.

“Hey.”� He says to me, straightening up and standing on his own. His hands are in his pockets and he looks nervous. The lights from the store’s sign lights up his face and glints off his glasses. It bothers me that I can’t see his eyes. I walk a bit forward toward him. 

“James… What on earth are you doing here? How long have you been standing here? Why couldn’t you have waited in your car or something?”� The questions come like a barrage, and I can’t help it. I don’t want to. Coming closer, the reflection of the light melts away, and I can see his hazel eyes. “What are you doing here?”�

“I didn’t want to miss you leaving from work or anything, so I watched the door.”� 

“You could’ve watched from inside your car.”� I suggest. 

“I could’ve. But I figured you wouldn’t have stopped like you did.”� 

A silence ensues that I’m not quite sure how to fill. We look at each other for a bit. It’s a calm stare, both of our faces indifferent toward the other, although inside, I am shaking. I recall the shock in his face the day he saw Edward and I in a half-frenzied moment and I recall the ache in my heart when it realized that I had kissed the wrong boy. James’s eyes are trained on my own. They don’t wander like Edward’s did. They’re not green like his either, but I like them. His are a deep brown, the kind of brown you’d find in a forest, in the bark of a tree. But the indifference in them really gets me. Or perhaps it isn’t indifference. I can’t really tell. Even now, I still can’t tell. 

I’m not sure of what to say to him. There is a lump in my throat the size of a small fist, and I don’t trust my vocal cords with words. But I’m afraid that if I don’t say anything now, I might not get the chance to ever. 

“I’m in love with you.”� I say brashly. It is so blunt and forward that I almost regret it. But I don’t. It is the truth. And his face isn’t reacting to my words. He’s still staring at me intently. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, James. It’s the truth, and it’s been the truth for months now. I might as well tell you because I know you hate me now because of what happened, but I was so unsure and I didn’t know if you felt the same way I did because you didn’t say anything. And now I guess if you were so upset with me because of the kiss, then you must feel something toward me; Hate? Strong dislike? Indifference?  Anger? “ My voice is quavering, but I can’t stop talking. I can feel my eyes starting to sting with hot tears, but I can’t stop. 

“I’m just so sorry James. You have no ide--,”� He took a quick step forward and put a light finger to my lips. 

“Stop.”� He said softly, exhaling a bit. I could see his breath in the air.

And I did. He held my face in the palm of his hand and wiped a tear away from my cheek with his thumb. “Just stop.”� 

 


	17. You're A Wolf

_Old gypsy woman spoke to me, lips stained red from a bottle of wine.  
“The one that you are looking for, you’re not gonna find her here.”_

-Sea Wolf

It is a waning gibbous moon. A raggedly cloaked man stepps into the pub. He is hooded, with scars along what can be seen of his arms. He sits down at the edge of the bar and shakes off the cloak on his head, revealing an older man. His face has scars not unlike his arms, but he is handsome. A tired handsome, but handsome nevertheless. But he has a strange expression on his face. One of worry. His eyes are dark, piercing, even through the dim lighting of the pub.

Within the depths of his mind, a whirlpool of thoughts. Thoughts of a woman with his child, worries of what would become of this child, the Dark Lord's rising, the impending full moon; it was too much for him, and he ran. A drink is set before him on the bar and he drains it quickly. It had been a careless decision and he knows it, but there is something about her he cannot resist. He knows he should go back, but the shame of it all stops him. _A person of my condition should be alone,_ he thinks. It would make matters less complicated, but life is complicated.

A scuffle in the pub causes him to turn around. It is a man and a woman, the man obviously drunk and angry. The woman's eyes glisten with tears, and in the glint, he can see the woman's turquoise eyes that remind him so much the eyes she can do. It is in that moment he realizes that he needs to go back. With a twist on the spot, he disapparates and appears again on their doorstep. The door opens before he can knock, and she's standing there, turquoise eyes and all, trembling.

_You're back_ , she says, eyes pooling. He takes her safely into his arms, cradling her head.

_I'm sorry._


	18. You're A Wolf

_Old gypsy woman spoke to me, lips stained red from a bottle of wine.  
“The one that you are looking for, you’re not gonna find her here.”_

-Sea Wolf

It is a waning gibbous moon. A raggedly cloaked man stepps into the pub. He is hooded, with scars along what can be seen of his arms. He sits down at the edge of the bar and shakes off the cloak on his head, revealing an older man. His face has scars not unlike his arms, but he is handsome. A tired handsome, but handsome nevertheless. But he has a strange expression on his face. One of worry. His eyes are dark, piercing, even through the dim lighting of the pub.

Within the depths of his mind, a whirlpool of thoughts. Thoughts of a woman with his child, worries of what would become of this child, the Dark Lord's rising, the impending full moon; it was too much for him, and he ran. A drink is set before him on the bar and he drains it quickly. It had been a careless decision and he knows it, but there is something about her he cannot resist. He knows he should go back, but the shame of it all stops him. _A person of my condition should be alone,_ he thinks. It would make matters less complicated, but life is complicated.

A scuffle in the pub causes him to turn around. It is a man and a woman, the man obviously drunk and angry. The woman's eyes glisten with tears, and in the glint, he can see the woman's turquoise eyes that remind him so much the eyes she can do. It is in that moment he realizes that he needs to go back. With a twist on the spot, he disapparates and appears again on their doorstep. The door opens before he can knock, and she's standing there, turquoise eyes and all, trembling.

_You're back_ , she says, eyes pooling. He takes her safely into his arms, cradling her head.

_I'm sorry._


End file.
